It can't work only in one direction.īut there does seem to be some monumental piss-taking by the sons. This kindness in your partner (which you seem to see as a weakness) and continued caring towards his other children is the same kindness he will show towards your daughter. Having said that, in your original, longer letter there were elements I thought slightly unrealistic you may see your family as you, your partner and your daughter, but the shape of his family is different and consists of four other children as well. This is having a debilitating effect on our relationship, but I can't seem to quash the angry thoughts. Every morning I wake up frustrated and angry. Įvery evening when I come in from work, I find something to nag about that his sons have or have not done. I love my partner but dislike our situation intensely. His boys are likely to live with us for the foreseeable future. I worry that when the day comes that the house needs to be sold, I will find myself homeless and that all my working life I will be contributing to a "home" that will be carved up and shared with his first family. The children are entitled to one-sixth of the house each. However, as we have a daughter now, her future is of paramount importance to me. I do derive daily value from it and I am trying to live in the moment.
The house is spacious and in a lovely area. Then he decided not to sell and to move me and our daughter into his "first family" home. This was the plan when he was selling his house in the divorce settlement. We are supposed to be building our "home" together. I contribute financially to the running of the household. The 21-year-old leaves his laundry for his father to do, meals that are prepared daily go uneaten, and every day his father drives him to his part-time job (a short walk away). The eldest son then moved abroad and another brother also moved out last year (but has since moved back in). Our once wonderful relationship began to crumble. As a result of being unable to ask the boys to tidy up, it would build up and I would lash out at their dad. As they weren't my children, I felt unable to ask them to tidy up after themselves. When I was on maternity leave I did my utmost to foster relations with his three sons, aged 21-30, who also lived there. I kept a clean house, cooked fresh meals every day and set the dinner table to try to recreate some sort of "family" environment. I live with my partner and our daughter in the marital home.
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